bluestar on peace

今年的生日－２０１１

2011-11-08T19:37:00.001+08:00

最近，一直都忙碌着，趁现在还记得，把之前没时间写的心情给一一写在这里吧。。

今年，我过了一个很不一样的生日。最重要时，他及时从瑞士赶回来帮我庆祝。他知道我喜欢郊外，所以他选择了带我去一个我很想去的地方，那就是在琚阮Kluang的一个羊场。

那里有提供住宿和活动，很适宜一家大小或者team building。

但是我们抵达那里的时候已是傍晚六点了。我们在那里吃了一顿丰富的晚餐，然后才去我们临时定的房间休息。简单的房间，简单的装饰，真的是舒服哦。。。

我们轮流洗了个热水澡，然后就在我们住的地方看星星和放孔明灯。。　哈哈～写了一堆留言在孔明灯上，然后看着它飞上天空直到消失～！

过后，我们就回去我们的房间看电视直到我睡着。哈哈。。。很好笑吧？
他没有给我太多的惊喜，他从瑞士带了一瓶小香槟酒和一份礼物给我。
在踏入１２点钟时，为我戴上这份礼物。感觉很好噢～
因为有个人很细心的为我准备这一切，是我从没有的。。。

所以，我想说，我过了一个很满意的生日～呵呵！

我的生日

2011-09-19T01:17:00.000+08:00

一直以来，我都不是很喜欢自己的生日到来。可能我是担心一个人过，又或许我经常期望得太高。

我总是喜欢带生日惊喜给我的朋友们，当然，有时候我也会有小小的期待，希望朋友们也会为我带来一些不一样。也许我太敏感，又或者我真的期待太高。。。每每都是让我失望的，让我难过的。即使我对自己说，不要再期待，不要去想，再加上让自己忙碌。。但那种失落的感觉还是一样的重。。。

今年，虽然我身边多了一个他，但我还是一样不愿意去期待。我应该知足的，因为他可以赶得及回来陪我过生日。这应该就是一个不错的礼物，不是吗？我是这样告诉自己的。。。至于如何庆祝，我不知道，也没意见。反正今年，我选择了请假休息，属于善待自己了吧。。。只是今年没给自己买礼物而已，因为已经没有多余的钱可以花了。或许可以把我的大床当作是我的生日礼物吧。。也不赖哦~！

好吧，今年的生日愿望就是希望我的家可以快快修理好~

告别单身

2011-09-09T11:10:00.000+08:00

八月二十三日：我终于答应他，成为他的女朋友了。
呵呵，那我就告别了我单身的日子了。

嗯，你一定会问我，他是个怎样的人，对我好不好，等等问题吧。。。
我来为你一一解答吧。。。

我和他是同事，但是不同部门。我们是在公司的年度活动里认识的 - Langkawi。
没想到的是，那次的认识，他对我有好感，然后去寻找我的下落。好笑吧？
过后，他一直很努力的表现自己，表达自己。可是我还是不答应他。
因为，我觉得我们认识得太少，太短了。
而且，他经常需要飞往国外好几个月的，因为他是工程师。。。

他好不好，在目前为此，我觉得他好。
他和我之前那些相比，他真的是很好。
虽然他经常不在，可是他经常让我觉得他离我很近。
经过过去的经验，我学会谨慎。我不让自己太快陷入盲目的爱情里。
他，很有耐性，他知道我过去让我没信心，所以他努力的给我信心，让我看见他的努力。

这次，希望他真的是我的真命天子，希望他不会伤我的心。。。

家庭

2011-08-02T12:38:00.000+08:00

今天的心情不是很好。。。
一直以来都不喜欢谈家事，今天却很想发泄。。。
一直羡慕别人的家庭如此温馨，温暖；可是我的家庭却如此的混乱。

每天都吵吵闹闹的，说话不是好好说的，而是大呼小叫的。
这种态度真的是让我觉得很烦人，很讨厌！
难道要每次吵架日子才好过吗？

这些吵吵闹闹的事，通常都是一个人所为。如果他在家，每个人都不开心！
可是，我又可以怎么做？赶他出去？不行，那会遭天堑。

弟弟问，我的新屋可以不给他住吗？
我说，我确实也不想，但是却不能。不管如何，他还是我们的爸爸。如果不给他住，那他住哪里？
如果让他住，我也担心妈妈的安危。

没有人会了解这样的家庭的，我想包括你。
很多的孝道我都了解，可如果你在如此的环境，你还真的做到吗？
如此的家庭，也是我阻止我感情的绊脚石。。。
因为，我不知道该怎么面对和告诉对方。

七月的消息

2011-07-19T18:16:00.001+08:00

又很久没在我的部落里写写画画了。先声明，不是忘记，而是没有时间。
不用说，你也应该知道，我又是忙于工作咯。
现在，除了工作，还忙于我屋子的装修，因为，我终于拿到锁匙啦。。。哈哈哈~

有太多工作总是做不完的，太多的问题总是解决不完的。
有时候，真的是很烦人。但是，我还是努力的再学习。因为我认为离我的目标还是很远。
或许把自己逼急了，结果生病了。。

至于我的新屋子，我的姑丈帮我做装修，让我省下一些烦恼去找装修佬。
但是我的脑子里，还是有一堆设计在等待我的安排。
我的房间，我的书房，我的小厅，我的颜色，等等。。。　虽然在拿到锁匙前已经想了千百遍，设计了几十次。以为已经决定了，原来拿到锁匙后，还是会再重新想一轮的。还是要求完美的我在发作呢？

今天，我的姑丈开始帮我动工了。比计划中早了半个月，也就是说或许我可以如期完工，搬进去住。呵呵～我的最迟预期是在九月位或十月头。我最原本的打算是在我生日前搬进去的，但如今，我觉得有些赶，所以还是拖慢一两个星期吧。。不希望因为赶而手工不好，然后后悔。。哈哈哈。。　

好像又想太多了。。。这就是我最近的新闻哦。。。

用眼看世界-越南

2011-06-30T23:40:00.003+08:00

这次，我又用我的眼睛看世界了。虽然这次的旅程是公干，但还是不忘用眼睛看看不一样的世界。这次的世界是越南的一个小镇 - Quy Nhon。

从吉隆坡搭上晚上8点的飞机飞往Ho Chi Minh。然后在附近的一间酒店住上几个小时，第二天又搭内地飞机飞往Quy Nhon。到达Quy Nhon后，就搭的士到酒店。放下行李，就去客户的办公室开会和讨论细节。下午客户带我们去吃了一个小时的海鲜午餐。。。忙碌的一天一直维持到傍晚７点才回到酒店。然后我们就出去找吃的，谁知找不到吃而回到酒店地餐馆吃。因为最主要的原因是我们和当地人的语言不通。

第二天，我们又是早起的一天，客户安排了的士早上５点半到我们的酒店来接我们进hydro power plant site。在途中也接了几个客户一起进ｓｉｔｅ。大概７点，客户带我们到沿路去ｓｉｔｅ的一间点吃早餐。平时很少吃猪肉的我，却在那时候，吃了很多的猪肉。因为，客户为我们一人点了一个猪头，还有一些道地的面和米饼。那里的面和米饼都不错。。。而且那里的茶也特别的香。

吃过早餐后，我们又继续赶路。大概又坐了两个多小时的车程，终于抵达目的地。参观了他们的ｓｉｔｅ和机器，我们又继续一些科技上的问题，一直维持到下午１点多才结束。问题结束后，客户就带我们到附近的一间小店吃鸡肉。当然，除了鸡肉还有一些面。

这个午餐吃得特别长，大概３点半我们才离开小店。然后又坐３个小时的车程回酒店。。。还是一样，我们选择在酒店解决我们的晚餐。

明天，又是累的一天。因为，又得一大早醒来坐飞机去Ho Chi Minh。然后，在Ho Chi Minh待几个小时才有机回吉隆坡。

这个旅程，我的结论是：“解开了视野，增加了劳累。“
虽然是累，不过我还是见识到不一样的人和环境。
虽然路途遥远和凹凸不平，但也看到很多绿油油的稻田。算是一个优待吧。。。。

朋友

2011-06-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

朋友，我们好像很久没联络了。
不知道你是否好吗？我想你的工作也很忙吧。。。
没关系啦，我本身也是忙。。。所以我明白的~

我姐的婚礼终于结束了~
忙碌了2个星期，终于要告一段落了。
我也继续忙碌于我的工作，希望会有好的开始和结束。。。

最近的无形压力，好像又多了。。。有种喘不过气的感觉。。
不过，不用担心。我想我很快会没事的。。。
因为我是女王嘛 ^^

News lately

2011-06-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

Erm.. Again, I didn't blog long time already.
Lately, I'm busy with work, my sister wedding & also got more activities after work.

Gal, tell you one thing to update you la...
Recently got a colleague look after me, always date me out.
Last few day, he confront to me. But, I rejected :P

Erm... Actually I just only know him. I don't know how is him...
I went out with him a few times. We can talk a lot, will not like no topics like that.
One of my colleague told me, he is good guy. How good is him, I don't know.
That's why I reject him. Learned from experience, scare already.
Hahaha... at this moment, he still not give up yet.

This is the only updated news for you, my dear :)

Training and Company trip

2011-05-18T20:08:00.000+08:00

Super tiring... as I went for a 3 days training at Crown Plaza hotel on the Commercial Awareness. Then, continuous by 3 days 2 nights company trip at Langkawi.

Well, talked about the training first. It's a great training. I learned a lot about the terms & conditions, law issues, etc. One of the assignment for this training is to be claimant or defender in an arbitration argument. Of course, it's team assignment. It's like a real court case, there are 3 arbitrators (which is our trainers) & with the claimants team. We need to prepare our scripts, prove/documents in few hours time and stay one night in the hotel, due to the assignment due time is until 11pm.

On the next day morning only we start on the court case (claimant vs defender). After the class, our trainers give us the pop quiz & arbitration result. The quiz was given before the class start, so I was failed my quiz (only 15 over 33). But for the arbitration, my team won the prize, which is a thumb drive.

Back to office on Friday, busy clearing all the emails & solving all the problems. Then rushed home by 6pm & pack stuff for Langkawi trip on the night itself. We went Langkawi on Friday night & back to KL on Monday mid night.

The trip is bit fun, because we (8 buses) been escorted by 2 police cars & ambulance from KL to Kuala Perlis. When in town, the police cars will change to 3 or 4 motorbikes. Even the traffic lights, we don't need to stop also :P Other than that, the trip is quite OK. I knew lot of colleagues that hardly meet in the office. Also having crazy time with them, because we having free flow beers. So, I having 2 days drinking & dancing night, which I been long time never do so. hehee....

Our trip theme for this time is "Hard Rock - Rock till you drop". Funny thing is I been pull out as one of the best dress out of 3 gals :S make me so pai ser....

When we touch down to KL from Langkawi is already at 1am. Then, me & a few of colleagues when for supper till 3am only back home ^^ Eventhough I slept many hours yesterday, but I still feel not enough. hehe....

Recent Updates

2011-05-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

Quite some time I didn't update my blog already. The reason is because of BUSY~! Hahahaa.. Hardly heard I'm busy, right? Yeah, now it's time to be busy already.

Let me update some news here, which is I'm transfer to another team now. I'm not doing tendering now. I have my new roles & tasks, which is Project team. Many things that I need to learn & pick up in a very short period. I hope I can success it in a very short time, due to many people is looking at me.

At the same time, I need to prove to my ex-boss that I can succeed all the tasks given, only he put his personal emotion into it only. That's the reason, I need to work very hard & make it success in short time :P 太好胜了，对吗？

That's about my work... Also about company here, soon we are going to Langkawi for company trip. Well, we are also short of time to practice those performance, because we just only having our first meeting yesterday, which we have remaining of 7 days excluded the weekend till Langkawi trip.

For my life, as usual... Just recently need to read more book, to enhance my knowledge, to build up my weaknesses. This mother's day, I'm also joining for Tzu Chi's event. Gonna to wish for my career & that's it...

Pray hard hard ~~!!!

一样的问题

2011-04-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

以为上个月的问题，这个月不会再出现了。
没想到，在这个时期，又出现了。
到底，是什么原因呢？我不认为我面对压力了。
但，为什么呢？这个问题是不应该出现的。

头晕也再次出现。
刚吃饱，却突然觉得头晕。怎么会这样呢？
难道我的身体真的有问题吗？

有妇之夫

2011-04-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

最近，有一个朋友对我说他的痛苦。
他已经结婚了。但是婚后，他对以前喜欢的一个女生还是依然的放不下。
而这个女生，却是我 >.<""

这是第三个有妇之夫对我说的话。难道我只吸引如此的男生？为什么呢？
我应该没告诉过你吧？

第一个应该是开始工作的第二年吧，是一个正在和老婆处理离婚的马来同事。如果他在公司，他经常会找时间和话题来和我说话，即使放工后也会信息我。当然他也向我表白过几次，也告诉我他和他太太之间的问题。我都是站在一个旁观者清和女生的角度来分析给他，也清楚地拒绝过他。

第二个，是一个爬山的朋友。他们结婚大概7年了，经常为些小事而争吵。所谓的七年之痒就是如此而来的吧。。。他总觉得老婆不能体谅他，和我却很合拍，所以渐渐地对我有意。当然，也被我拒绝了。理所当然的，我也成为他分析家，尝试让他知道女生的想法。

第三个，和老婆结婚了2年而已。我们认识多年，当年他追求过我，而我们也有些误会和时机不对，所以都错失过了。对于这个遗憾，他耿耿于怀。即使结婚了，他依然想念！我分析给他，既然结婚了，就不要再回头了，因为是不会有结果的。我不愿意背负第三者的名分！

对于这三位有妇之夫，我只好说我们都只是有缘无份。时间来的不对，让我们在错误的时间里碰见。或许是前世修来的缘，所以今世遇见了。虽然没有办法成为情侣，但是我很高兴认识你们。虽然我拒绝了你们，但是我们却依然是好朋友。。。这就是我们可以延续的福份。

不过话说回来，我不想再遇见任何有妇之夫了，希望老天爷就不要再玩我了吧。。。

无事

2011-04-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

容我只说一句：　

我想你！

Perhentian Trip

2011-04-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm back from Perhentian Island. It's a 3D3N trip.

How's the trip, right? Hmm, the trip not so fun. Due to the people joining are selfish & not really cooperative. Luckily, got 2 buddies went together with me, so we manage to syok sendiri (SS).

We reach Kuala Besut around 7.30am, the leader & some team members check with boat agent that, the boat will depart at 8am and 10am. So, after discussed, they said they want to choose 8am, so just go for light breakfast or don't eat breakfast. But, they didn't informed the boat agent on what been decided. After the light breakfast, then they went to look for the boat agent again, & the boat agent told, the boat only depart at 10am. So, we have to sit there & wait till 10am. Funny hor? But, we didn't waste our time there, our reef check organizer - Soo Ling briefed us what to do on the next day events.

Around 10am, we finally on the boat & depart at Coco Hut resort around 11am. After check in, the first things that we did is check with the resort, what time got boat go out for snorkeling, which is 2 or 2.30pm. Therefore, we changed & walk along the beach & shooting photos before go for snorkeling. Around 2pm, we all gathered at the resort and ready to jump into the sea. But, the resort told, today is Friday, they have to pray, so 2.30pm only got boat. While waiting at the beach side, 3 of us can't wait and jump into the sea. But, the disappointed part is, no fishes there.

Get into the boat, the boatman bring us to 4 stop points. The fishes species at Perhentian is not much as compare Redang. But, 3 of us still managed to SS :p The special for this time is I can pull colleagues to see the fishes (means I can swim ^^) & we manage to see the sea turtle in the middle of the sea.

We have 9 people to Perhentian plus 1 person from Reef Check. This trip I don't satisfy much, due to some reasons and personality issues. Initially wanna shoot out here, after consider, better don't spoil my mood here. It's over, things have to let go too. Too much complaint is not good also :P

I'm super tan now.. Don't when only will get back my skin color =(

Count-down for Perhentian Island

2011-04-12T08:37:00.000+08:00

What to write today? Notice that I didn't write for many days already.
Yeah, I'm really busy recently. Many last minute request from bosses and follow up issues. Now, before the day start, I try to allocate some times to update my bloggy ^^

I'm count-down'ing on my Perhentian Trip. It's on this coming Thursday night depart from office by bus & touch down to KL on Sunday night/mid-night. I never been Perhentian, but saw lot of nice photos from friends. I was so in dream to be there. Now, I follow company event again, and it's Perhentian le~!!!

You must be thinking why my company always got event to here & there one, right? Actually my company is one of the charity organizer for save the world - Marine Park. In Peninsular Malaysia, there are 3 island is under marine control: Redang, Perhentian & Tioman. I went to Redang last year with company & Tioman by my own. So, this time I go to Perhentian. Company will shortlist 10 persons per island per trip. Every year will have 3 trips. But, this year is our last year for this event, if we want to continue, the organizer need to get approval from the big bosses again.

So, I registered again & of course get my boss approval on this. Another 2 days to go, I can't wait for it.... I miss the snorkeling session as last time in Redang~! This round, I will go with difference people. I hope it's another fun trip with them. I'm sure I will love the scenery there one~!

I will take more photos to show you. So, bear with me ^^ If there really nice place, I will recommend you to go there & if my financial allow, I can go again with you if you want accompany :)

Flooring

2011-04-05T10:49:00.000+08:00

Few days didn't update my blog here, today wish to spend some times to write some updates.
First happy things I wanna share is I bought my materials for my upstairs flooring already. I went to Perfect Livin's exhibition (furniture & interior design) last weekend.

There are many kinds of products showing there, for example: sofa, beds, cupboards, dining tables, mini bar, laminated floor, gates, doors, wall paper, piping, kitchen used utensil, etc. I was so excited when saw all those products, especially those designing. I copy some ideas & try to modify and fit in my dream house. Hehehe~!!!

At first, I saw there's also some laminated floor booths, which I planned to have it. So, went to ask around & found it has solid wood as well. The cost also reasonable. The wood is good quality also. Look for a few booths, finally decided to pay the deposit on the one that I most love & cheapest.

Can't wait to see the solid wood put onto my floor. Excited to see the result, hopefully the sifu's handwork is perfect ^^

Completed!

2011-03-29T09:51:00.003+08:00

After the 3 months hardwork, finally I completed my homework - cross stitch.
Hehe~! Here you go:

Now need to frame it up only~!

blood pressure test

2011-03-27T14:57:00.009+08:00

Yesterday, I went to my aunt's house. She got a Wrist Blood Pressure Monitor at home.
So, I tried to test for my own blood pressure.
This is how it look like, if you don't know what is that:

My result as per below:
Sys/Dia: 93/59
Pulse: 55

Normal rate is :
Sys/Dia: 120/80
Pulse: 60-100

My aunt said, it's very low.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Since I'm lack of knowledge on this, so I "google" & search for normal blood pressure & pulse rate:

Here it shown:
93/59 - It's not really low, it just the lowest rate from the normal blood pressure only. It call it low normal. It is quite common for Athletes or children. (But, I'm not athletes or children :P )

Means I have to keep my blood pressure up. If drop, then I might become weak & tired easily, will get dizzy or fainting.

How to keep my blood pressure up? Normally, people will take supplementary. But I don't relies on supplement.

The other way will be do more exercise~!! (the cheapest & faster way ^^)

So, I have no excuses to stop any hike already, right? Hmm...

Another 3 weeks, is my 11km marathon. Not sure I can finish it or not, due to no training at all :P

Dream after the drink

2011-03-25T07:04:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, my company having a staff appreciated dinner at Bar & Bistro Restaurant. Yes, I joined it. It start at 7pm for the welcome guest & toasting session. Around 7.30pm only start for our buffet dinner :P

The dinner was tasty & nice. The songs was super nice too. Love those lovely oldies from the live band & songs played by CD.

Besides that, of course is drinking lo. I had white wine & campaign, it's nice too. Besides white wine, they also have red wine & beers. But, I always get gastric with red wine, therefore I choose white wine.. hehe... After the drink, is dancing lo~!

Wow... After so many years didn't dance, almost forget how to dance lo... So pai ser.. Took sometimes only get into it :P it's fun!!

OK. Today topic is not focus on the dinner.
It's about the dream after the drink :P

I was super tired after the drink & dance. Once got home, immediately go to bath & laid down on my bed already. The whole night, I feel like I didn't sleep at all. In fact, I was dreaming for the whole night. It's continue the drinking session.

Not sure where it start, I saw myself is in the car of a best friend - YF. I was smoking (I super hate people smoking, but in the dream, I'm the one who smoke :S) But the weird things is, it didn't have cigarette smell. I remembered YF walk out of the car to get another friend - KJ, then I sit in the car & I start to smoke.

When KJ get up the car also, YF drive us to somewhere (I just know the car keep on moving only, no destination). We were talking something, but I can't recall. I just remember I was drink some alcohol & I'm smoking.. Hahahaah~!

This dream was long. It only stop when my Cock Alarm cocking~!
Gosh, I'm tired & sleepy now >.<"'

Broke & poor

2011-03-24T16:32:00.004+08:00

Super broke again~!

Month to submit my income tax...
Wah, I gonna pay lot income tax to the stupid government which never benefit to me!
Feel super unfair ("hormone imbalance" when talk about this! lolx)

Another thing which make me broke is my darling - CAR.
My aircon's cooling coil, receiver & valve spoil.
Check with the 1st service shop: he said 3 things cost RM990!
WTF!!! Where got so expensive one!!!

Immediately, I called my friend who is service car one to check the price for me.
End up, another service shop told me, it just only RM700 if take the original cooling coil.
If don't want original one, then it only cost RM400, which is half of the price.

Luckily I know friends who service car one, else I really con by these people!!
2 things add up, it cost me thousand plus :S

Broken month!!! >.<"'
I need sponsor~ Who willing to sponsor me?

重感情的人有这种习惯

2011-03-23T09:17:00.002+08:00

今天，读到书脸上的一篇文章，觉得他/她写得很好：

他/她说，重感情的人会有这种习惯的：
⒈ 总会把事情想得很长久
⒉ 喜欢黑夜习惯晚睡
⒊ 很固执不懂得放弃但一旦放弃了就绝不会回头
⒋ 在别人面前笑得很开心一个人旳时候却很漠落
⒌ 在陌生人面前很安静在朋友面前胡闹
⒍ 喜欢写字阅读
⒎ 莫名地孤单无法抗拒的恐惧感
⒏ 不爱说话很爱说话
⒐ 心情不好旳时候却喜欢听悲歌
⒑ 容易满足更容易受伤
⒒ 习惯了沉默在沉默中爆发或者选择灭亡
⒓ 习惯保留自己因为只有这样在离开旳时候心才不会痛
⒔ 不相信童话却一直期待会有个真正懂得自己保护自己旳人出现
⒕ 喜欢怀旧之后感到深深旳寂寞恐惧
⒖ 一点点事就胡思乱想想到戏剧般旳吓人
⒗ 付出旳远远超过得到旳
⒘ 坐在电脑前不知道做什么却又不想关掉它
⒙ 觉得世界上每一个人都不可靠但却还是那样地选择相信别人
⒚ 不习惯一个人莫名其妙地消失在自己旳生命中
⒛ 不喜欢等待却总是等待

以上蓝色的，也是我自己的心情。
是否你也认同呢？

Lesbian

2011-03-22T16:03:00.003+08:00

Am I really look like lesbian?
Where do I look like lesbian?
Why people said I'm lesbian?

So sad!!!
I can accept gals as my friends, but CONFIRM NOT girlfriend or boyfriend!
I can hug with gals, but NOT KISS with gal!
I can sleep with gals, but NOT having SEX with gal!

Please la~!
I still straight one le!!!
I just only be single for 2 years plus only mar.
No need said I'm lesbian what :S

想

2011-03-22T15:03:00.003+08:00

最近，经常在想：

1. 如果我到了40岁还是一个人过，不知道我是否会因为荷尔蒙不平衡而变成变态的女人吗？
因为经常听到别人说，单身的女人是变态的。。。
希望单身的我不会步入变态的阶段啦~

2. 如果我到了40岁还是一个人过，不知道我是否是一个难搞的朋友/同事呢？
因为那时候的思想应该不一样了吧，应该会没什么朋友吧。。因为，大家都有自己的家庭了。
希望我还是人见人爱的朋友吧

3. 如果有一天我突然死去，不知道是否有人会因此而流泪呢？
虽然不是很想看到家人，朋友哭啦。。但是却希望还是有人会关心我的，在乎我的。

4. 如果我得了癌症，我的人生会变得如何呢？
我是否还可以如此乐观的对待每一件事呢？还是我会选择放弃呢？

5. 如果我中了彩票，我会怎么花呢？
我会辞职吗？我会选择做自己喜欢的工作吗？我会自己去环游世界吗？

哈哈。。我想，我是真的想太多了吗？

很累

2011-03-21T19:42:00.005+08:00

可以让我自私点吗？
可以让我什么都不管，什么都不在乎吗？
有问题可以不要找我吗？有要求可以放过我吗？

我很累，真的很累。。。
我很想休息~！
永远的休息。。。行吗？

我可以自私的选择放弃吗？
我知道。。。我做不到。。。

FAQ for my single status

2011-03-21T13:43:00.004+08:00

Recently, I notice that, I've many friends are curious about my single status.

Many was told me that, I doesn't look like single.
Weird, can see from outlook that whether I still single or not one?
How you see? Where you see any difference?

I think I need to prepare my own FAQ for all the friends. Here you go:
1Q: Do you have boyfriend already?
1A: No, I still single & available.

2Q: You doesn't look like single lo!
2A: Got face to see one? Yes, I still single!

3Q: You are kind & pretty, impossible still single lo!
3A: But, still! I'm single now!

4Q: Then, you must be too choosy?
4A: I don't think I'm choosy.

5Q: Is it your requirement too high?
5A: My requirements are simple: financial stable, mature, tolerate. Is that high requirements?

6Q: You got lot friends, should got more opportunity what?
6A: All my friends are married & not available.

7Q: Then, you should know more other people or outing.
7A: No accompany, where to go? How to go?

8Q: Do you put your "net" at wrong pool or river or sea?
8A: May be I put my net at ikan bilis area, which the hole of the net are too big.

9Q: Do your parents chase you on this?
9A: Yes, but fate not come yet. Chase also no used.

10Q: Do you scare to be alone?
10A: Yes, but will not force myself to simply get someone that will hurt in the future.

These are the common 10 questions from friends.
Do you have other questions? If yes, tell me, I will add it in :)

身体检查

2011-03-20T20:17:00.004+08:00

你有去做身体检查的吗？
如果有，多久去检查一次呢？
价钱贵吗？有检查什么呢？

你一定很好奇为什么我会问这个问题吧？
其实，我觉得我的身体好像出现了一些问题。
可是，我又无法证实那是什么问题。

身体的异状让我觉得我应该要去检查了。
可是却害怕一个人去面对这些检查程序
也害怕检查出来的结果。。。

到底我还是一个需要依靠的人吧~
还是无法一个人完全独立起来~
可悲的，还是得一个人面对！

日有所思，夜有所梦

2011-03-20T08:42:00.002+08:00

人家说：日有所思，夜有所梦。
我知道我喜欢他，可是我却没想到我是如此想念他。
不然，怎么连做梦也会看到他呢？

而且，梦里的故事却是我想不到的接触。
我真的是发花痴了　:S

No topic

2011-03-18T09:01:00.004+08:00

Recently was busy on my work, and also some other issues. Therefore, no time for me to blog here.
Today, try to find time to blog here, with no topic...
Haha~!

What I want to tell today?
Basically, topic I can tell always few things only, which is work, family, money and friends.
For love, definitely NO at the moment.

Well, this also been informed by my colleague this morning.
She told me that, I seem moody recently, seem like got many things trouble me.
Haha... I don't aware that she notice my mood.
I also don't know myself in that kind of moody. haha~

Seem like someone is looking at me.
But, I feel touch that she is observing me :p

红地毯

2011-03-14T14:16:00.004+08:00

越来越多的朋友们慢慢的步入婚姻的红地毯了。
而我，也不断的接收着朋友的红炸弹。
当下，我是开心的接受。

而后，我是难受的想为什么我还是自己一个人？
难道真的是我要求高吗？
我真的觉得，我已经努力的做最好的自己了，但是我还是单身。

很多人对我说，我应该是有很多男生追求的女生，应该是有男朋友的女生。
但现实是，我依然是单身一人。

我的人生或许就是应该自己一个人吧。。。
我知道，即使是我一个人，我依然应该要开心的，因为人生还是得开心过下去。
只是有时真的很累，很希望找到个人让我依靠依靠。。

他，不是我可以依靠的人，因为我们没有可以继续下去的缘份。
所以我应该放弃，将精神放在愿意关心我的人身上。
可，这是正确的吗？
我知道对方对我好，可是我却对他没有特别的感觉啊。。。
真的不知如何是好~

完全可以体验这首歌：
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rETWOFncROc

sorry

2011-03-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

Sorry...
Today, I lost my temper to my parents...
I wish not to do it, but at last I still do it.

Me really not a good daughter!
Always throw the temper to my family, even though I know not their fault.
Even though just a small things, I also lost my temper to them!

What am I thinking?
Why I become like that?
Why I am so bad?!

Sorry...
I really no intention to throw my temper to you.
Sorry!!!!

好人之名

2011-03-11T23:52:00.004+08:00

但很多人都为你戴上好人的名字，即使你想要使坏，也变得很难了。
这是我最近读到的一篇文章，我觉得很对。

很多人为我冠上了很多好听的名字，比如说：
好人啦，聪明啦，漂亮啦，关心别人啦，等等。。。
这些名字确实给我带来一些压力。

我并不是大家所说得那样，我一直都觉得我不好。。
我总是羡慕别人好的待遇，而我什么都得自己辛苦的熬过来的。
我总是想为什么我遇到的人都不是好人，或许我只配认识不好的人。
我对自己说我要笑着过人生，可是欺骗自己真的很辛苦。
我不开心，却要自己装得很开心。很白痴，对吗？
原因只因为我不想别人陪我不开心。。。。
今天，我的头痛了整天，同事看到，我也只是笑说没事。。

其实，我很累了。。
可以不要再为我冠上那沉重的名字吗？

谢谢你们

2011-03-10T10:42:00.004+08:00

最近，情绪波动都点大了些。
只因为很多事情都不是很顺利似的。

虽然如此，我还是勉强的让自己笑了。
我还是告诉朋友，我是开心的，我还是可以自己解决所有问题的。
只因为，我是个开心的女生，我是个坚强的女生。。。

不过，我还是任性的对朋友发发牢骚，对朋友撒撒娇。
我不是有意依赖你们的
我不是有意利用你们的
我只是很想有人可以在那个时刻陪伴我而已

谢谢你们努力的让我笑起来：带我去吃，带我去拍照，带我去玩。。
谢谢你们的安慰~
谢谢你们的关心，因为我胃痛了好几天。。
谢谢你们对我的好
真的谢谢你们~

虽然你们看不到，读不到
但是我的感激是真的发自内心的
谢谢！

House Issue

2011-03-10T09:57:00.004+08:00

Recently, many things seem not so smooth.

First things is about my new house.
My lawyer advise banker to release the money already. It should be happy for me, right?
Yeah, I'm happy for that. I asked lawyer inform the owner that get ready to move out, because I wanna start my renovation once I got the house key.

But after a few minutes, my lawyer told me that, the owner don't want to move out yet & want to rent from me until June like that. (The date is not firm one) The reason that he don't want move out is because his Semi-D is not done the renovation yet! But, it been renovated since October 2010 le.. already 5 months, still not yet complete mer? Is it true oh??!

I told the lawyer that, then fine. I rent for him for RM1,500, but my condition is he must move out by 30-Jun-2011! I want the house key by 1-Jul-2011! If he can't commit, then I will take legal action already! I don't want to negotiate anymore!

My lawyer told the owner & the owner told that, my rental is too high! Well, I replied the lawyer that, then tell the owner, if he don't want to pay rental, then pay the penalty of late of delivery, which is 8% of the total selling price. I calculated, which is RM1,720 per month or RM57.30 per day. Which one he prefer?

He already mess up my whole year plan now! I really really angry & not satisfy! If he still want to complain so many, then I don't mind I pull out at last which he gonna pay me back all the fee including the lawyer fee!

Angry angry!! :(

What is SHOULD?

2011-03-09T14:50:00.003+08:00

What you means by:
I should compare all these?
I should do all these?
I should XXXXX

Which all these not my job scope!
Since all these not belong to me, what is SHOULD for me?
Damn it~!!!

You want to throw your stupid, uncontrolled emotion, please throw to other else!
Don't throw to me!!!
#$^%&*()_+

Believe me or not?

2011-03-07T15:38:00.004+08:00

Funny thing....
Many friends/colleagues of mine was telling the same things to me...
The thing is: You don't seem like you are single! Don't cheat la, tell us the truth...

Hahaa~!
What for I lie to you all? I really still single & available, nobody want me~!
Why you all don't believe me?

I don't know why all friends like this.
Is it because I always happy happy?
Is it because I always got activities?
Else what? Really don't understand~!

What you think?
You also having the same thinking as them?

de-mood

2011-03-03T14:11:00.003+08:00

If I need a hug, who I can go for?
If I just need a friendly & warm hug, who can share their shoulders to me?
If I just want a silent accompany, who can be my side?
If I just want a humor joke, who willing tell the joke to me?

At this moment, I want someone be with me.
It can be you, can be friend, can be stranger, can be anyone.
I just want someone be here with me, without saying any words.

It's silly, it's weird, it's uncommon!
I really need it~
But, nobody is with me :'(

I'm de-mood again~! (no such word, right? it's my word of no mood... haha^^)
Allow me to be crazy~!!!

Decision

2011-03-01T14:31:00.004+08:00

I'd decided.
Start from today, I will hide off my feeling from you.

I will not ask anything about you even though I wish to know
I will not care on you even though you told me that you are headache
I will not take initiative to chat with you even though I see you in IM
I will not sms you even though I miss you
I will not tell you my real feeling even though you ask me

I will persuade myself that you are not belong to me
I will persuade myself that you are not worth for me
I will persuade myself that you are not suitable me
I will persuade myself that you are not available anymore
I will persuade myself that you are a liar

Reason of doing so is simple:
I just want to pull out from falling in you~
May be you just like what others told, "flower heart", unfaithful...
No matter what you are, I decided walk away from you. Just to avoid being hurt~!

May be is funny, may be is silly...
If you are not as per above & wish to be with me...
Then, you may need to prove it hardly!
Because I will not put any expectation or hope on you!

No Strings Attached

2011-02-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

Today, went to watch movie with a friend after work. Just would like to make myself busy & stop thinking of something or somebody.

The movie is No Strings Attached. It's a romance comedy.

Don't want to explain more about the movie, just go to buy the ticket & sit in. You will enjoy, may be :)

Know what, I saw partial of my shadow in her? My tear was drop silently at certain part. For others, it just normal only. But for me, it means something to me.

I was changed to be soft & weak! This is not real me. But, how could I find back my real me? It was missing for few years already... Hate current me!

I saw it

2011-02-25T14:43:00.004+08:00

Today, saw him lunch with the gal. The gal that my colleagues was told they are always together one. Only both of them... He saw me too...

Haha~Even though I was been told earlier & I have get ready on all this.
But, it still influence my mood bit...

When he back to office, he IM me.
I don't know what I should response to him.
I didn't see him hold hand or anything, I can't judge them as couple.
But, in deep of my heart, I know I'm letting go~!

Then, he start to find topics to chat with me.
He said, I also out for lunch one. Then next time can invite me go lunch.
That sound funny, right?
Yes, I personally feel it's funny.

Well... I said you already got accompany, I prefer tapao.
I only go lunch with booking in advance & only with certain people.
For him, need to see how first.
Am I bad with the answer? Yes, may be.

After that, I didn't chat with him at all.
One of the reason is I don't know what to chat & response. Secondly is I'm busy in work (even though I still chat with few friends at the same time)

I saw him having meeting at my floor, I didn't stop & look at him at all.
I walked fast & pass by the room that he was in (just for submit my work to other department). I try to pretend I didn't see him at all.
But, he come to look for me after that. What he want from me? What should I do?

When he come to my desk, I was on the phone & I pretend I'm superb busy, don't have time to talk to him at all. Coincident that, Max was in today & he ask me about him again. He said: You really like/love him?

What a funny question, right? Yeah, my answer is NO!
Then I head home~

IQ Test

2011-02-23T20:21:00.002+08:00

Hahaa... bit bored, so I play with IQ Test. Below is my result:

3SmartCubes.com - IQ Test

Wanna improve it already... hahhaa~

选择

2011-02-20T17:44:00.003+08:00

当大家都告诉我要小心这个人的时候
我的心确实害怕地退缩了。

但,在某个微小的角落，却传来一个声音：
或许他改变了呢？
或许他真的想定下来呢？

这些微小的声音，让我无法分析，到底该相信谁。。。
我希望他改变了，变得不是他们所说的那种人。
我希望他真的想安定下来~
但是，却不敢抱任何的希望~

是否应该选择一个喜欢我的人，好过选一个我喜欢的人呢？
付出多的一方，通常是被伤害得最多的那个，对吗？

Chap Goh Mei of 2011

2011-02-18T09:27:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, was a fun Chap Goh Mei for me :)

Puah reached my home & get me around 7.30pm, but we stuck the jam for 1.5 hours only reached the destination. Once we got the parking, we went for our Korean Dinner at Amcorp Mall with his friends who already finished their dinner there.

We were struggle of hunger since 7pm, therefore we make a quite order & chit chat while wait for food. Of course is to introduce myself & Puah's friends lo. They all are pretty gals oh ^^

Funny joke is Puah was super hungry & over took my food :( All the waiters there curious & looking at him, also come to him & reconfirm with him what he ordered. After all only he notice that, he'd ate my food :S funny~~

When I almost finished my food, my another friend - Chee reached. After the quick dinner, we walked to the lake & see people throw mandarin orange & catch the mandarin orange :P Hahaha... It's my first time see this. Really happening, many people there & really got net one lo lol~~!

We didn't throw/catch mandarin orange, due to too crowded. Therefore, we went to an empty space & play "kong ming deng". From the last time I played "kong ming deng" till now, was about 10 years ago already. So happy that I have the chance to play again. Besides that, we also played fireworks & 烟花... Really fun~

Really like a kid for the night.... hehe... I played till 12am only reach home ;P

Chap Goh Mei 元宵节

2011-02-17T13:44:00.003+08:00

Today, is Chap Goh Mei 元宵节~ In order word, it also Chinese Valentine's day.

As usual, I'm alone for the past 28 years. This year, I gonna to have something difference. I accepted friend's invitation to "Rock Out"

We will go to dinner somewhere nearby the place people will throw mandarin orange. It's my first time to see it, as never join before. Normally just heard it, but in fact don't know how it look like one :P

My friend said, he will bring fireworks & kong ming deng along. So, I can play around on it..
Hahahaa.... Let's rock the night & forget those not necessary things!!!

Counting down for tonight ") Happy Chap Goh Mei to you ^^

** Also congratulate to a buddy who giving birth today... Welcome the baby :)

Update you if something fun happen :P

Keep distance

2011-02-16T14:38:00.005+08:00

Today, a colleague of mine asked me about him.
He told me, don't get trap by this guy.
He is a 花花公子. He with a gal in the office now.

Haha... Seem like I really need to be aware on this.
He might not be my right one again..
I have to pull back all my feeling, even I'd drop into it...

Luckily someone asked me be aware at this moment.
I really need to keep some distance from him...
Just myself been fool by people, not caused by others~

Painful but luckily we still colleague~ hahahah.....

牵动

2011-02-15T10:07:00.002+08:00

我想，我是真的喜欢上你了。
我的情绪，都被你牵动着。。
我希望看到你，希望你给我信息，或者给我通电话。
但是，却每每只在痴痴的等。。

我不知道你是否在同一时间也在等某个人。
或许我不是你要的人
可是在这个时候，我却陷下去了。

有个朋友对我说
男生一旦决定，他们会非常主动的。
如果他们不肯定，或者对某个女生也有意，他们就会犹豫不决。
如果他们不肯定，那么就不要太在意，因为如果对方是你的，他自然会走向你的。
如果他不是你的，你怎么爱他，他还是属于别人的~！

所以我朋友对我说，我应该打开窗，不要只为一个人关闭。
尝试认识多些朋友，那么就会知道这个人是否真的适合我。。
其实，这些道理我都知道。。。
只是要管住想念他的心，是有点难~

我知道在我的心里，会留住一个位子给他。
同时，我也会努力将窗打开
因为，我真的不喜欢等待的感觉。
（昨天等了他一天，他一封信息，一通电话都没有，有点难过。。。）
我希望他感觉到我对他的心。。。

Rock to Genting~

2011-02-14T20:25:00.002+08:00

Since he didn't call me or date me, so I went out with friends.
Initially was told going to happy hour with a bunch of friends one.
But, due to no one reply us, therefore....
Our last plan is go out ourselves (only two of us).

Don't misunderstand, he just friend - Puah.
Actually just only get close recently.
At first he said wait for others reply.
But until now still nobody reply us, therefore he propose go Genting drink starbuck..

Since I don't wish to stay home, I decided GO with him.
Let's rock the night for 2 single persons~!!

something~

2011-02-14T10:16:00.002+08:00

Today, is valentine day.

Something which I should not think of, was appear in my mind while I drive to office today.
It suddenly become fresh & clear in my mind!
I don't like my mood been affected!
But, it really appear in my mind again & again!!!!

I have to be happy happy..
Today purposely dress up nice to show I'm happy.
Then, I should not think about him anymore!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another one~!
Since moody today, therefore don't really take initiative to chat with him.
Unless he come & chat with me.

Who knows, he really don't write anything to me, just only ask me why I don't IM in the morning.
After I on IM, he said few words, then nothing already.
Really kek sim....

Normally I will write something if see he long time no reply.
Today, I really don't.
I think he feel weird or beh tahan already & send me: how's ur weekend? :S

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T09:15:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's day to you, dear.
Wish you have a wonder day ahead & happy always~

Sorry to you

2011-02-13T21:51:00.004+08:00

Today, a friend confront to me in facebook message.
Very straight forward, very clear 表白.
At the same time, I rejected him as well.

He is a good guy, but unfortunately I don't have feel.
I knew he like me since few months ago. Be frank, I tried to know him more & see whether we can click or not. We did went out date for few times, eg: dinner, movie, etc.

We chat while dinner or way he send me home. But, I feel hard to find topic to chat with. I feel bored on topic we chat too. I feel stress while out with him. At the same times, he is studying master course at Shang Hai now. I don't think I can accept any long distance relationship at the moment.

Besides that, I have good feeling on another guy. Of course, I didn't tell him to hurt him more.

Since he asked me today, so I be frank to him that, I just wish to be friend with him. This only things that I can do for him. Hopefully he can accept this. If he can't be friend with me again, I feel sad, but also I know it's good for him too.

Sorry to hurt you if I did. I wish you happy forever & happy study~

Baking passionate

2011-02-13T20:33:00.004+08:00

Just aware that, almost 2 years I didn't bake cakes already.

In the past 2 years, whenever I free, I will think of bake cakes or make some food for myself or family or even for colleagues or boyfriend. Since after I broke up, I didn't touch on it at all, except the moon cake during mid-autumn festival.

Today, looking back on all my photo albums, only realize I lost my interest! Where it go to?

Recall that he lost his interest in photography for 2 years as well. He told yesterday, it's hard for him to take back the camera & shooting again. At first, I don't understand why & I replied him that, to pick up the skill is not hard, only to recover from the hurt is taking time. Until this morning, I think I understand why he said so already. It's not recover from hurt or not, it's how to bring back the passionate on it.

It just exactly same as me. When I gonna pick up my baking skill, buy ingredients & start baking cakes again? My baking recipes still waiting me at my bookshelf, when I gonna take it out & start all over again? As for today, I don't know how to answer you, because I really don't know when it gonna be happen again.

The similarity make me understand you more a bit, but also make our distance stay far a bit. Just because both of us are scare of getting hurt again~

因为爱情

2011-02-13T10:07:00.006+08:00

因为爱情不会轻易的悲伤
所以一切都是幸福的模样
因为爱情简单的生长
依然随时可以为你疯狂
因为爱情怎么会有沧桑
所以我们还是年轻的模样

要走到有两人自己的爱情
需要多少的时间和煎熬？
有多少的人可以坚持到老？
有多少的人可以携手并肩一世？

你到底爱谁

2011-02-11T21:32:00.002+08:00

Share Market

2011-02-11T19:21:00.003+08:00

Today's mood really like share market, up & down from the morning till now.
Or may be can said it like the weather, can change in fast pace~!

This morning, I was happy because of the boss told me that, my proposal been accepted by the customer. I'd did the proposal for months & I been spent lot of effort on it. Of course, I was happy when I heard the news.

& the boss told, I can follow him to customer office for the final price negotiation stage & sign contract. That's the things that I wish to see since I join till now. So, I was super super excited about it.

After an hour, I got a bad headache attack. Don't know the reason, it been attacking me since yesterday till today. At last, I can't stand on the pain & dizziness, I took a panadol from him. Thought will have chance to talk to him a bit, who knows no even a word :( mood getting down some more~

Finally managed to get colleague accompany me for light lunch due to not much appetite... Therefore, we just had bread & some chat. Talking about the work, we both really disappointed on what been discussed with the top management. But what can we do then? Remain the same? Yeah~ until we got better offer...

Get back to office, he don't bother me due to lot of meeting & I also busy with some discussion with colleague. After the discussion, I only chatting with friends in MSN... because I got nothing to do & another news been told that... My proposal can't be send out to customer & we need to inform customer to pull back the offer.

The reason we have to pull back our offer is the top management gonna to terminate this team & the product been obsolete... If the product is obsolete, why don't announce to the whole company? Why need to wait until now, we already submit the proposal only told all this things?

I'm really upset on this top management thingy!!!

Few days before Valentine 2011

2011-02-11T15:11:00.003+08:00

Few more days is valentine already.
Well, from my deep heart, I wish he will date me.
But I guess, he wouldn't.

Due to I don't want to have lonely lunch on that day, therefore I date one of my colleague (gal) for lunch on that day.
Just because I don't want be disappointed if he don't date me at last.
So, even he want date me also can't now, unless dinner... (but dreaming too :S)

Me terrible hor?
Yeah, I guess so...

Actually my friends date me for dinner on that night.
But, I still haven't promise them yet, due to I wish to wait for him.
Even though I know 70% that he will not.... I still praying on it..

Haiz....

如果

2011-02-10T09:12:00.002+08:00

如果你不是要和她长相思守的话，那请你不要给她希望。
如果你不能给她承诺的话，那请你不要给她假象。
如果你做不到，就不要对她说你愿意等她。
如果你不是真的爱她的话，请你不要对她说你会用马来西亚的天气爱她。

她只是一个普通的女人。
她只是一个外表坚强，内心脆弱的女人。
她总是嬉皮笑脸的面对每个人，不代表她永远是没烦恼的。
她不曾在别人面前哭，并不代表她是冷血无情的。

每当她认定你后，不管如何，她都会相信你。
如果你说你愿意等，即使她叫你不要等，她还是会静悄悄留个位子给你。
即使她不说，她还是心里说了多次的想你。。。
只因为她尊贵的自尊，她放弃了一次又一次的机会。。。
她的害怕，令她一再的怯步。

也因为如此，原本说等她的人都先转身离去了。。。

did you?

2011-02-10T08:18:00.006+08:00

Said you don't bother me, But not
If you don't bother me, you wouldn't IM me every morning
If you don't bother me, you wouldn't sms me if I don't sms you
If you don't bother me, you wouldn't concern how am I

Said you care of me, Not also
If you care me, you wouldn't ignore my sms sometimes
If you care me, you wouldn't ask me look for boyfriend
If you care me, you wouldn't laugh at me when I complaining something

I don't know what you are thinking
I don't want to guess
Just because I'm tiring of guessing
And end up, I'm wrong in guessing

暗恋

2011-02-09T16:00:00.006+08:00

You know who I mentioned... Haha~!!!
Nice song also~

Happy Birthday

2011-02-09T13:14:00.004+08:00

Today's mood extremely excited & happy~!!!
I don't know what's the reason, I just know I'm happy & I should happy...

One of the reason is today is OUR BIRTHDAY!!! 7th day of CNY~!!!
And we had a great lunch at Pizza Hut with my department colleagues which I rarely join.

We had a great chat at Pizza Hut...
Ok, today I want to be happy happy... hehe~~!
I don't want to think other unhappy things for today!

Yeah hoo~!!!
Wanted to sing songs! Wanted to dance!!!
Happy happy day~!!!

Suddenly he told I look pretty today...
Don't aware that we were passing by each other while crossing the road
haha... so funny :p
& mood getting more colourful~

Happy birthday to you & me!!!

15 years friendship

2011-02-07T00:14:00.004+08:00

Actually I'm really down & moody these few days, especially today.
Today, best buddy called up to gather at Mid Valley & go for movie.
At first, I don't wish to go one.
After thought, not always got chance to meet them, therefore I decided to join them.

Once reach there, just had some chat...
In the conversation, my mood turn down & down.
I know for some people, they might think that's just small matter la.
But for me, i take into heart.

We knew each others at least 15 years already. In these 15 years, you tell me that you don't know my full name? In these 15 years, you tell me you don't know where is my hometown? In these 15 years, you don't know my birthday? In these 15 years, you don't know my personality?

You know how hurt am I? You know how sad am I?
I put you all deep in my heart, but what you all did?
Meaning I always be the spare tyre among you all... If the person you want to look for not around or not free, then only you come to me?

Whenever you all need help, if possible, I sure will show up & help. Can you all spend a little bit time for me? Why when I need someone listen to me also hard?

15 years friendship... really so fragile? Or in these 15 years, only myself 自作多情的付出?
My heart so painful~!

头发之恋

2011-02-06T20:49:00.003+08:00

头发一天一天的长

对你的思念也一天一天的增加

把一些头发给剪掉
只因为想把对你的思念给减少

希望思念少了，快乐会变多
希望思念少了，给你的压力也减少

想你，真的很想你~

Slip away

2011-02-06T11:06:00.006+08:00

I love this song very much, very nice, very touch~

If I could I would change my yesterday
I would listen to my heart
And then today I'd see what true love could be
And I wouldn't let tomorrow slip away

I'm thinking, am I brave enough to do so?
I'm listening to my heart that I like him
But, I don't dare to make any changes for yesterday, today or even tomorrow.
I wish I can hold my happiness and don't let it slip away.
But... what can I do?

*** I miss you ***

You

2011-02-04T02:25:00.003+08:00

How am I gonna to know what you think about me?
How am I gonna to know what is my impression in your heart?
How am I gonna to know did you like me or not?

There are so many questions surrounded my brain.
I don't know what I should or shouldn't do...

Should I continue? Or give up?
Should I ask? Or ignore?
Should I pretend nothing? Or ...??

I scare to get hurt, but the feeling on you is real~
What can I do???

Happy Rabbit Year

2011-02-03T01:27:00.004+08:00

Chinese New Year again...
Telling me that, I'm older again...

Since young, I don't really enjoy CNY, until now I still the same.
I don't even feel any CNY mood... May be just enjoy the holiday only.

As usual, CNY eve sure will have family reunion dinner.
In the past few years, my uncle's family will come over to have the reunion dinner together.
This year, they don't come, therefore only my family & except one of my brother.

First day of CNY, we will have lunch at home.
After lunch, we will go to Kepong, one of the relative's house.
All my dad's side relatives will gather there, chit chatting, eating, playing, etc....

Second day of CNY, we will also have lunch at home.
After lunch, we will go to Subang, another relative's house.
All my mom's side relatives will gather there to kepoh, play mahjong, etc...

This year, might also go to find my pity brother, since he is working at Sunway.

Normally, the 3rd day onwards, I will start work or stay home to grow mushroom if there is still public holiday like this year.
I don't know will it be any changes for this year or not. I hope it will.

Anyway, still wishes my family & all my friends have a happy & prosperous Rabbit Year...
Gong Xi Fa Cai~!

流泪的老天爷

2011-01-31T12:51:00.002+08:00

这几天，老天爷一直在流泪。
到底什么事让老天爷这么伤心难过呢？
就如我刚换的部落格样貌

而我的心情也随着老天爷的难过而陷入低潮。。
要如何才找回高潮呢？

对自己老实

2011-01-30T20:46:00.003+08:00

很想对自己老实。。所以，来这里写下唯一一次的实话。

最近，对某个人有好感，那种感觉很重。。
这不知道是好是坏。。。
也不知道该怎么办。

他，是我的同事。
我们不算很熟，因为我们来自不同的部门。
我的办公室在5楼，而他的办公室却在9楼。
开始时，我们很少会碰面的。
在偶然机遇下，我们有了一些交集。
他主动在公司的网线中找我聊天。

每个早上他都会在网上和我说早安，然后聊天。
我对他的了解不算很深，毕竟才熟络而已。
过后，我们交换了手机号码。

周末时，他会信息我或打电话给我。
我很高兴收到他的信息和电话。
每次收到他的信息和电话，我的心跳都会很快。
在我内心深处，也说出了我的害怕。

前几天，因为新年要到了，所以公司各部门都有自己的晚宴。
我的比他早一天。在我回家途中，他信息我，要我小心驾驶。
隔天，到他部门的晚宴，他的部门是去唱歌，喝酒。
他，不会喝酒。但却避不了。

当天，他叫我上网陪他聊天，因为他也不唱歌。
我陪他聊天整个晚上，他也喝了不少，吐了不少。。
因为担心，所以我陪他到他的晚宴结束，大概凌晨3点。
由于他喝了很多，所以他回到公司休息（唱歌的地点在公司的对面而已）。
回到公司时，我们还是在网上聊天。

他吐了好几次。。。酒醉也去了一些。。
一直到5点，我才告诉他我要休息了。
他也告诉我他可以回家了。
原本我叫他在公司睡一会儿，大概7点才回家的。
可是，当我说我要下线时，他却说要回家。
他知道我担心他，所以信息我，问我要睡了吗？可以打电话给我聊天直到他回到家吗？
我说如果有handfree才和他聊天，不想他危险驾驶或给警察抓到。
结果，他一面驾车，一面用handfree和我聊天。
直到他到家为止，我才安心睡觉。

很好的开始？我不知道他是否也喜欢我。
他曾说过，他已经不知道该怎么追求女生了。

也对感情事觉得很累了。。
我不敢再相信自己的感觉，因为我的感觉总是让我受伤。

他让我想起了ken。。
他让我害怕付出后的代价是粉身碎骨。
他说的话，我对自己说，不能相信。

我不知道要怎么做。
我想放弃自己的感受，就让自己从来没喜欢过这个人。
可以吗？我很难得才找回开心的自己，我不想再陷入地狱。
或许他不让我去地狱，但我却不敢尝试。。
我还是一样懦弱，没用！可悲！

三种爱情

2011-01-30T02:29:00.003+08:00

人家说，一个人会遇见3种爱情。

第一种爱情是：对方爱你多过你爱对方
就是说，在这段爱情中，对方的付出让你觉得压力，让你透不过气。
所以，你选择了放弃爱情，得到自由。

第二种爱情是：你爱对方多过对方爱你
就是说，在这段感情中，你学会了爱，也全力付出了爱。
当然无形中也产生了压力给对方。所以，对方选择背叛你，离弃你。
你也被爱伤的遍体鳞伤的~

第三种爱情是：真正的爱
因为有之前的教训，所以你谨慎的对待爱情，也成熟的面对爱情。
这才是你真正找到幸福的源头。

而我，已经面对了前面的两种爱情了。
我真正的爱情几时才会出现呢？而我怎么分辨谁才是我真正的对象呢？
迷惘～

Liar

2011-01-24T16:22:00.003+08:00

Am I born to be a liar?
Yes, I guess I am, because I'm always lie to myself~

What I have lie to?
Lie to my feeling, lie to my heart, lie to everything that I think I couldn't accept.
& then tell others that, I'm perfectly fine & OK.

Yes, that's me~
Always have reason to be lie.
Reasons of:
1. Just want to cheer people, even though deep in heart is bleeding
2. Smile on face, even though tears almost drop down
3. Reply in msn with laugh, even though crying in own msn's window

Just to comfort others, never want to comfort my own.
These are the reasons that I lie to myself always?

So, this time.....
I have to tell myself that, I'm perfectly FINE & wonderful, in order to cheer myself up :S

Happy?

2011-01-21T18:06:00.003+08:00

Recently a few friends said, I looked happy.
Am I? May be :P

As per my friends, they said I looked like in love...
Haha~! In fact, not lo..

Just a few friends look after me, I guess :p
I don't know is it a good sign, but let's start out with friendship first lo.

Actually bit worry if really start relationship with anyone of them.
Don't have confident on it at all :P

王若琳

2011-01-19T09:13:00.003+08:00

最近，爱上她的唱腔。
她，就是王若琳，一个中国的歌手。

我喜欢她的原因不是样貌，而是她的声音。。。
很爵士，很慵懒的感觉。。
听了就想停下繁忙的脚步
冲一杯咖啡，拿起一本书，慵懒的听着若琳的歌。。。
真是一种享受~

为你送上一首她的歌：

祝福你

2011-01-17T07:51:00.003+08:00

一个很要好的朋友，终于喜欢上女生了。
他不是同性恋，他只是很久没再喜欢其他女生了。

一个认识了15年的朋友，没有间断过的好友关系。
一个一直都很关心我，对我很好的好友。
终于对一个女生倾心了~

我是应该为他感到开心的。
因为，他在我身上浪费太多时间了。
而我，却只希望和他做永远的好朋友！

因为我相信，我再也找不到一个可以对我这么好的朋友了。
我不知道感情的尽头在哪里，但我相信友情可以到永久。
所以，我不愿意和他的关系有任何的改变。

我不知道他开始恋爱后是否有改变。。。
但我宁愿相信，我们的友情是不变的。
只要我需要，或他需要，我们都会出现在对方面前。。。

祝福你，朋友~！
希望你可以得到幸福。。。
加油哦！！

我妈子

2011-01-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

最近，我妈子不是很开心，因为我姐姐结婚的事。

原本结婚是一件开心的事，但是他们搞到这样，我家人都不是很开心了。

首先，是关于她的结婚聘金。
老实说，我可没见过这么低的聘金啦，也难怪我的家人会这么生气。
而他们生气归生气，还是没有在他的面前说过什么。。很给面子哦！
我告诉我妈，如果不满意，是有权告诉对方的。
但是，她就是不会和别人谈这种事，所以将所有的不满往自己肚子里吞。
当然也告诉我诉苦啦~

然后就是关于做伴娘的事。。
我妈以为应该是我做我姐的伴娘的，谁知不是。
我姐叫她的朋友作他的伴娘，而我只是做“打杂的”而已。
我妈生气哪有不叫妹妹做伴娘的。
我也安慰我妈子，说没关系，我不在意。。。

我妈问我姐，对方几时来提亲。
我姐那有不闻不问的态度，让我妈很讨厌。

再来，在安排座席。
我姐为了要省钱，胡乱的将亲友杂进不认识的桌。
我妈子又是不爽和不满。。
结果我告诉妈，不要管她，给她自己搞。
亲友不高兴，也不是我们的责任，叫她自己承担。
该给的意见，我们都给了，也被骂了，所以已经够了。。。

唉，越写越生气，还是不要再继续了。。
哈哈~！

Busy work & big surprise

2011-01-13T10:41:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I'm so busy on my work.
The main reason is, my boss keep on asking me on a tender which already worked for 3 months!
Still amending & asking where I got all those amount~!

Some of the amount is decided by him one, but he forget & ask me why~!
At the same time, keep on changing mind! Thought I'm so free to change 1 thing which will reflect everything in the calculation!!!

Really dislike his working style, it's super silly & inefficient!
But still, I do everything that he requested!

After lunch, I had a discussion with Marketing Manager (after Dept VP, he is the powerful man in dept). He told what he want from us, & I showed what I'd done to support my work. He is impress & I told all what he impressed was rejected by my boss!

He is shock & I explained all my situation & scenario to him. I hope he can influence the management & rescue me out of this condition which is not benefit to me. (praying hard for it...)

Got back home early & went for a movie with a friend who are back from Shanghai. It's a fun movie & received a big surprise from this friend.

Dang Dang Dang Dang~!!!
This is the surprise that I received:
If you remember, I wish to have this sewing machine for some time ago.
Now, I got it already~ With lot of accessories given as well~!!!
I'm so so happy with it~!!!

Super thanks to this friend ^^

Waiting to win

2011-01-05T17:00:00.005+08:00

4 more days to go~!
I'm waiting for the Da Ma Cai result~!

Haha~!!! Funny hor?!
Yeah, I'm poor until pray for luck!
Hopefully the god hear me & sponsor me some, so that I can pay all the debts that I have at the moment!!

Many people thought I'm kidding...
Many people thought I'm rich, they said only rich people will keep on said they are poor~
Am I? Did I always lie? Did I look unbelievable?

Haiz~ I don't want to argue/explain more~
As only myself understand how poor am I....
As only myself understand how much I wish I can win a lottery~!

Praying hard hard!!
And 4 more days, I'm going to collect my lottery $$.
Hahaha!!!!
I'm using my Law of Attraction!!
I'm not greedy, I just want second winner will do :P
Hahaha!!!! My $$$$

First blog in 2011

2011-01-03T08:53:00.004+08:00

Today, first day working in year 2011 :)
It should be a new start day & year~

What is my resolution for year 2011?
Frankly, I haven't fixed my resolution yet.
That's too many things in my head & too many things are not fixed in this year.
Due to the unfixed things, therefore I dare not decide what I should & shouldn't.

At the moment, the only things that I can think of are:
1. Treat my parents good & nice
2. Treasure people who treat me good
3. Treasure everything that I have at the moment
4. Let go things that left me with or without reasons
5. Fully treasure life in good way

Do you think these consider as resolution?
Hehe~~ Once I think of any resolution, I will rewrite here again :P

进度

2010-12-29T13:29:00.009+08:00

记得我是在12月11日买十字绣回来的。

从那个晚上开始动手绣。
那时的进度很慢（当然现在也不快到哪里去啦）

不过，我却看到一些成绩了。
很高兴哦。。。
这里就是我目前的进度：

如何呢？
是不是看到一些图画了呢？
这里只不过是四分之一的70八仙而已咯~
还有很多要绣咯！

要继续加油咯~ 希望可以在明年3月前赶完~！
Ganbate! aza aza~~!
==========================================================
目前的进度：1-1-11==========================================================
目前的进度：4-1-11
===========================================================
几天没做，维持在这个进度而已：10-1-11
=======================================================
这两天的进度：21-1-11
======================================================
新年期间的进度: 7-2-11

为你祈祷~

2010-12-28T08:54:00.003+08:00

昨天，信息给我的好友。
因为担心她父亲的健康，也担心她。
有好几天没看见她上网了。
所以，拖到昨天才给她信息。

结果，她告诉我，她的父亲在几天前过世了。
我很难过，我也担心她。。。
我不知道她是否赶得及回家看她的父亲。
我不知道她是否可以熬过来。
我不知道她的母亲是否可以坚强起来。。

很多的担心突然涌上心头。。
因为我知道她很爱她的父亲，也知道她很担心她的母亲的健康。
我很想帮忙，可是却什么都帮不到。

我为她一家人祈祷。。
希望他们一家可以走过这痛苦的日子。
希望他们可以健康开心的过日子。
因为我相信她的父亲也一样的~

如，加油！
需要帮忙的话，请让我知道。

一个人

2010-12-27T11:34:00.005+08:00

面对一些事，我还是一样会感觉到害怕的~

我以为我不再害怕了，以为我可以接受新的追求。
原来我还是一样懦弱！

从我去Lake Toba回来，很多朋友问我：　你的男朋友哦？他有机会吗？等等的话题。。。
老实说，他不是我的男朋友，我也从来没有想过他是否有机会。

被朋友们一再地问，我想了一想。。。
我的答案是：　请不要追求我，我害怕！
也没有特别的感觉。。。　只是一味的害怕和祈祷他不要喜欢我！
我只想维持现状，只做朋友，我不想改变～

这种改变让我觉得胆怯。
然后，我才发现原来我还是适合一个人。
不是我放不下以前的事，只是不知道怎么去接受２个人的生活了。
不知道怎么和别人相处了。。。

所以，维持目前的生活是最好的～

求签

2010-12-27T09:55:00.003+08:00

昨天，我陪朋友去天后宫拜拜。
我没有拿香拜，只是在神庙外面用手拜拜而已。
因为我不知道要怎么拜。。。呵呵 :p

然后，我看到很多人都在那里求签。
这里的秋千方式很特别，我第一次看到这样求签而已。
不需要跪在地上，不需要抛阴阳卦。。。
只是需要在签筒里拿起全部的签（那里的签很大支的哦），然后在心里求心愿。
然后放手，如果有一支签特别的高出来，那么那就是你的签。
如果有几支签高出于其它的，那么重新许愿和“抛”过。

而我也在那儿就了我人生中的第一次签。
我的签是上上签（我自己认为而已啦。。。）

我的签说：
灵鸡一啼，天渐渐亮了，凡事就看明天吧！云开月出，光照天下，你更可看到天平景象了。

这首签诗的寓意是，黑夜过去了，鸡一啼，黎明就接着来了。一个人一生不会都走霉运的，当那时来运转，正如[云开月出]，会有一番新气象出现的！

抽到此签，如问做事求财，可以说渐渐有希望了。

这首签诗是苦尽甘来之兆，所以问功名，表示你十年寒窗，有出头的日子了。问婚姻，表示有情人终成眷属。移居平安，出外可行。

是不是好签呢？呵呵~
但愿如签所说的吧。。。哈哈~！

Christmas gift in 2010

2010-12-23T13:51:00.005+08:00

Today, is a good and surprise day for me oh~!

In the morning, I received a Christmas gift from my lovely colleague. I haven't open & have a look on it yet. But, I guess I will love it very much one :) because she is a very lovely & concerned gal ^^

In the afternoon, I had lunch with one of my university good friend & received another gift from him. Actually I knew he will give me one of the gift already, which is the miniature from Serbian. I don't know that he had actually bought a set of another kind of miniature for me.

I'm so so happy.
I will show you the picture later ^^ (once I manage to shoot for it)

Tonight, my department got dinner celebration for the year end close as well.
Hehe~ Hopefully another joyful event oh (^^)

Last trip in 2010

2010-12-15T09:13:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow evening, I will be on trip again.
This round, I will go to Lake Toba, Medan, Indonesia.

Let me intro what about the special of the lake first:
Lake Toba (Danau Toba) is the largest volcanic lake in the world and is in Sumatra, Indonesia. Samosir island within the lake is the island within the island of Sumatra.

Lake Toba is an immense volcanic lake covering an area of 1707 sq km (1,000 sq km bigger than Singapore) with an island in the center. Formed by a gigantic volcanic eruption some 70,000 years ago, it is probably the largest resurgent caldera on Earth. Some studies say it might have been associated with causing previous ice age/climate change and the largest human population bottleneck ever. Genetic estimates suggests that there were only a few thousand individuals that survived the catastrophe. The island in the middle - Pulau Samosir - was joined to the caldera wall by a narrow isthmus, which was cut through to enable boats to pass; a road bridge crosses the cutting. Samosir island is the cultural centre of Batak tribe who are mostly Christians in the modern days.

This trip was planned in last minutes, and invited by a friend.
We decided on 30-Nov-2010 and booked the air ticket immediately (of course AirAsia got promotion lol :P)

Our budget for this trip is RM450 for 3 days 3 night per person (inclusive airfare oh)
I consider this is cheap, therefore I decided to go this trip.
This will be my last trip in year 2010. hehe~

I know, you gonna said I always said I'm broke, no money, but still going here and there, right?
Yeah... Actually I was struggling when my friend invite me.
I was thinking whether I afford to pay after this trip or not? Coz I gonna make lot of payment after/during the trip. Of course, the payment is for my house one lo~

At last, I still decided to go! The reason is I might have to stop traveling (oversea) for a moment, at least whole year of 2011. Else I will be in deep trouble of my financial issue. And also calculate the money that I have at the moment, I think I still survive for this trip. Therefore, without think much, I make my mind & GO!

Terrible, right? Ha~! Yeah!!!
I'm crazy now~~

Homework - Cross stitch

2010-12-14T11:54:00.005+08:00

My weekend going to be busy now.

Last Saturday I went out with friends after few weeks staying home.
We went to Sunway, thought to shoot photos for the Christmas decoration. Who knows, it quite disappoint me, because nothing much to shoot & not much special for me.

Therefore, we went for window shopping (initial thought la :P)
Then, I saw few nice gift shops, without concern much & enter into the shop.
At one of the corner, I found a very nice cross stitch.

It's suitable to give my sister & brother-in-law as wedding gift :)
After consider for 5 minutes, I decided to buy lo... (price not cheap oh :S)

Here is the picture of the cross stitch~
Dang dang dang dang~~!
What do you think? Is it nice???
Yeah Yeah, I damn like it lolx...
But, problem is the cross stitch quite big oh.. abt 2x3 feet, which is 2 pieces of A3 paper.
Don't know how long I need to take to finish this... Scare not enough time for me to complete it before June 2011.

Some more, need to hide while doing it. hehe~! wanna give her a surprise mar :P

After working hard for 10 hours (3 days), I only manage to stitch for 2/100 only :S
Eyes tiring, but enjoy also :D

busy week

2010-12-14T10:47:00.003+08:00

After free/bored for few ~~weeks~~, or I should said months, this week I'm getting busy.

The reasons are :
1. Few tenders are going to submit to customers within this week.
2. Due to the last minutes checked by my boss (I was submitted to my boss since last week), therefore, I have to rush for the correction, and also the changes as per customer requests.
3. I will be leaving the office earlier on this coming Thursday & on leave on Friday, therefore has to complete all the tasks before I leave.
4. Represent my boss for the conference call with HQ, as my boss is in Indonesia for project execution now.
5. Been assigned as team leader for a company event, followed by team leader briefing.

Well, I'm damn enjoy these few days. Feel like I'm doing work :P
crazy huh?!

Lost in work again!

2010-12-06T09:07:00.003+08:00

The more we grow, the easier we lost ourselves.
Do you agree with me?

Yes, I'm lost again~!
I'm lost in my work again~!
I wish I have a bright career, in fact, I didn't!
I wish my work is valuable & meaningful, but NOT!

I don't want an easy, or job with nothing to do!
I don't want just sit in the office do nothing, or just online, facebooking, etc..
I want something that can excite me, can bring up my talents, my interest~!

Well, I know it's hard to get something that I want.
I know this is the challenge for me...
Frankly, I just don't don't wish to waste time sitting in the office with nothing lo...
What should I do? What can I do?

S&P signed

2010-12-03T15:15:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Quite a few days I didn't update my blog again.

Today, consider a good news for me, which is I went to sign my Sales & Purchase (S&P) agreement at my lawyer firm. Well, it's happy; at the same time, it's sad too... because I got to pay the remaining 7% of the downpayment.

That what I can said I'm broke! Totally broke! Before got the money out from EPF!!! Also, checked with the lawyer, I might be got the key by February or March 2011, if the owner side is OK!

As mentioned by the lawyer that, the owner still owe bank money, therefore the process might take longer, but she can help me monitor it. As I mentioned to her that, I would like to move into the house by May 2011 & I need to do some minor renovation, therefore, by March or April I must get the key already.

Suffer for the $$ again~!

Pray!!!

2010-11-26T14:48:00.003+08:00

Few days didn't update my blog already. Today, I'm in mood to write something again. Well... Basically I'm worry about my mom's health now.

Last week when I back from China, my mom told me that she feel painful on her stomach while in Thailand trip. After back from Thailand, she is fine already. Last week, she told she having gastric. Then I asked her go to see doctor, but she don't want. She said don't want, because of the consultant fee is expensive. So, she bought gastric pill at pharmacy for 5-days.

After she took the medicine, she still feel the pain. I urge her go to see doctor, she still stubborn & don't want to go visit doctor. When the pill finished, she finally told she still in pain & would like go to visit doctor after scold by my aunt.

Also, a remind by my aunt that, she can claim via insurance if she bought medical card. I immediately called my sister to confirm, because she is the one who help my mom arrange the insurance thingy. A shock drop to me, which is she told me that mom didn't buy the medical card. She only buy the life insurance. #$%^^&*(

Immediately I back home from work, I pull out the policy & read. I also called up my friend who is working for the insurance company to double confirm. Well! The result is the same that, my mom do not have the medical card! But, I know I can't do anything at the moment, only can pray that my mom's stomach is fine.

Today, I'd just make an appointment with the doctor at Tung Shin Hospital. Will bring my mom visit the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully everything fine...

Pray hard hard~!!!

Bored

2010-11-22T10:28:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored~
Because I'm nothing to do again~!
Please give me some tender request~~!
I'm died of bored~

I know some people want work as me...
But, I still didn't get used environment like this!
I want something to excite myself in work!

Haiz~~!!

跑~

2010-11-19T23:54:00.003+08:00

最近，身边有很多朋友都往外跑。
有些是去外国公干，有些是去旅行，有些是移民。

虽然我本身也刚从旅程中回来，但我还是很羡慕这些朋友。
不知是否真地在国内待得太累了，还是找不到自己想要生活的乐趣呢。

人生是否到一段日子后就会停留在十字路口？
人生是否到一段年龄时就会迷失自己？

最近的烦恼又增加了。
可是解决的问题却没有减少到。。。

习惯胡言乱语的我
最近又发神经了~

下雨与心情

2010-11-16T14:48:00.002+08:00

外面又响雷了
看似有要下雨了
就如我的心情
突然下起大雨

对着电脑
心绪完全不在此
如何找回自己的心？
如何让自己回到现实的生活上？

想念

2010-11-15T15:57:00.004+08:00

我又回到了工作岗位上了。

假期结束了，心却还挂在远处~
想念着那里的天气和宁静
想念着那里的满天星空

七天的时间
说短不短，说长不长
就这样结束了
一切又成为回忆了~

赌徒

2010-11-07T16:33:00.002+08:00

到底一个赌徒是怎么想的呢？

是否只要身上有钱就要去赌个清光才甘心呢？

是否为了赌，连自己的尊严也可以不要的向人借呢？

即使被人骂得一文不值时还不愿意悔改？

要如何才可以让一个赌徒彻底的戒赌呢？

空白

2010-11-06T22:13:00.003+08:00

很想写些什么的。。。
可是，脑袋一片空白。
心里有些话想说，但是却无法将它变成字体。

这种感觉很空虚，很无奈。
好像也找不到方向。
后天，就要出国了。
好像没有任何的喜悦和期望。
不知道为什么，空虚的心情无法被愉悦起来~

一些不该有的回忆好像又突然间被挑起。。
那种回忆让我觉得烦躁和厌恶！
一些回忆却让我突然间很想念
现年当初快乐的我们，单纯的我们。。。

是因为老了，所以才比较多感触吗？
这几年里，我好像都很少真正快乐过。。
到底为何呢？快乐都离开我了吗？
是否可以抛开一切，不去想呢？
是否可以放弃一切，重新来过呢？

一些事物或许可以丢掉
但是，一些回忆是否也可以丢掉呢？
满脑子的事物，回忆不断的旋转
如何才可以将它们都抛出去呢？

写了一堆，却不知道自己到底在写什么。。。
也不知道自己想表达什么。。
就是盲目的写啊写的~

就当作废话连篇吧~

Miss my mom

2010-11-06T18:20:00.003+08:00

My mom went to Chiang Mai 5 days already.
Didn't hear her voice, didn't chat with her, didn't see her face...
Hmm... start to miss her already.

But, another 2 days is my trip to Gui Lin for 7 days.
Wow... then it will be 2 weeks time didn't see her already lo...

Can't imagine if I relocation to outstation or I get marry lo...
Hahaha....

Start to day dream already. Too bored already :P

好朋友

2010-11-02T16:33:00.002+08:00

再多几天，我就要去旅行了。
而我最亲密的好朋友到现在都还不来拜访。
我可不想带着这个好朋友一起去游玩咯~
我要去泡温泉咯。。。
怎么办呢？如何才可以让这个好朋友早点到访呢？
真的是无趣咧 :(

铁绣球

2010-11-01T15:52:00.004+08:00

今天，我想讲一个故事：
有一个人用细铁丝做铁绣球。
当做到一半时，突然发现绣错了。
这个人决定拆除错的部分，然后重新绣。
谁知不管他怎么拆，铁绣球却缠得更严重。
当然这个人的手也被扎出多处伤口。

这个故事是说：
有些时候，执著会让一个人迷失。。。
当你恨一个人时，就是证明在你心里，你还无法放下他/她！

当一个人恨你时，请自动走开。
请不要以为假好心就会减少对方对你的恨。
因为那只是会造成反效果！

Happy vs busy

2010-10-27T11:28:00.005+08:00

Finally, I got my offer to purchase agreement signed on 26-Oct-10!!!
I'm SO SO SO Happpyyy~~!!!

Now, I'm very busy. Due to I need to look for loan package, I need to look for some renovation stuff, I need to settle things with lawyer, need to get ready on some $$ as deposit, eg: TM, TNB, etc, and so on...

Everyday looking for information, which floor tiles I need to use for upstairs, what color I want to paint for my room, living room, dining room, study room, etc...

Haha.. getting busier at home. Coz I can't go out anywhere already, due to need to save $$$~~

Happy day

2010-10-25T08:19:00.005+08:00

On 23 October 2010, I brought my mom go to have a look on a house.
Landed, free hold, double storey, 20x67 square feet, fully renovated, partial furnished & cheap~!
I like the house, due to I can save a lot on renovation part & furniture.

The only things that I need to service are the water pipe system, upstairs tiles, & cat painting.

Therefore, I decided to put on deposit for the house. My mom like it as well, especially the kitchen cabinets. It's really nice & new :) Here you go ;)
Today (25 October 2010), I will go to the lawyer firm to settle something.

Wow.. I'm so so so excited now ;)

为某事失眠~

2010-10-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

有很多的问题，事情一直在我脑海里飞过！
想要好好睡一觉都成问题了。。。
脑累！心累！身累！都很累！！

很难抉择啊！

2010-10-20T16:27:00.002+08:00

当你做决定，你会听取别人的意见吗？还是你只会根据自己的意愿决定而已？
比如说你要买屋子，你会考虑什么？

最近，我要买屋子，但是却面临很多问题和意见。
我的能力有限，我的要求也不高。
但是我却被要求得满足每个人。。。

我的要求是一间永久的，普通的单层或双层排屋，不需要大整修，价钱低于三百千。
在这么低的价钱里，我只能购买市区外的房子。
我找了很多市区里的房子，都是超过我的预算。
当然也很旧了，需要大整修。

除了找市区里的房子，我也找市区外的房子。
看了好几间，看到了符合我的要求的屋子，只是地点有些远而已。
家人却在这个时候说地点不适合，不愿意配合。

可屋价开始暴增，我不想再等下去了。
也不想再听太多的意见了，因为我不想到后来我什么都得不到而后悔咯～！
当年我就是听太多而到现在还没买到自己的屋子咯。。。
如果我真的买了那里的房子，或许我的家人会生气或不爽。
真的很难抉择咯～！

烦啊！！

钱

2010-10-18T15:47:00.003+08:00

很多人说，我应该很有钱。
因为我很节俭，很会计划。
可是老实说，我的银行却比一般的人来得少。
这是怎么回事呢？

我的工钱比以前来得多，可是户口里的钱却没有增加到。
到底是怎么回事呢？
真的觉得自己很差劲啊~！